Speckledgoat

Moving On.

What a week it has been. A short while ago I saw an advert for a Deputy Headship of a school in Canterbury. It was much closer to home and so I sent in a speculative application not expecting anything to come of it. A week later I received an invitation to interview. This came as a huge surprise. The selection process involved being observed teaching my class, then a 30 minute presentation and question session followed by an hour and ten minute interview.

It was a long day.

In teaching you tend to find out on the day if you are to be offered the position and so I waited quite late into the evening to hear the bad news. When the phone rang I listened to the pre-rejection speech from the headteacher...how they had a very strong field, it was a really tough decision etc etc and inwardly urged her to just to get on with it and tell me I hadn't got it. I was therefore stunned when she said they were offering it to me. I really could not believe it. I almost asked her if they had got the right person!

But there it was and after nine years I will be leaving St Peter's at Easter. It is a peculiar feeling. When I sent in my application, I really didn't expect to get it, so had not considered actually leaving. I have loved my time here and I will miss the children dearly.

My new school is closer to home and so closer to Ruby. It is a Deputy Head position and so a promotion also. It is in the heart of Canterbury and just a short walk from Monsoon!

It is odd that my mum and sister in law have also aquired new jobs this year. What a time for us Holbrook/Godsell women!

One and a Bit

The house is quiet as I try to do some work related research this afternoon. As I read, my eyes wander to the sleeping bundle visible in the adjoining window. She is curled into a tiny ball; a blanket pulled around her and is sleeping soundly. Her tiny back rises and falls fractionally with each breath and occasional snuffly baby noises can be heard through the monitor.

Her first birthday was a wonderful time. Thank you to everyone who visited over that weekend, we were overwhelmed by everyone's kindness. Ruby herself seemed to revel in the attention and loved having a house full of friends and family. Nick and I had a great time making her duck birthday cake after the cake mould we ordered failed to arrive. We were very proud when she looked at it, pointed and exclaimed 'duck!' We will have a lot to live up to next year... let's hope that she does not develop a love of something more complicated before her next birthday!

I have been watching her toddling around the house all day and I am starting to accept that she is now a 'toddler' not a 'baby' anymore. She took her first tentative steps just a week before her birthday and here she is not four weeks later, dashing around, almost running at times. She is confident and brave and again, I find myself watching on in admiration. She toddles across the room, bends down and picks things up, then heads on her way again, smiling or laughing as she goes. She is always so very busy. It is no wonder she sleeps so soundly.

Her favourite pastime is emptying or rearranging containers full of toys at the moment. She studies the contents hard, her little brow furrowing in concentration and she removes some or all of the contents, before she looks again and decides whether it is now as it should be. Sometimes more are removed; sometimes pieces are swapped or added before she finally gives a small nod of her head and a smile and moves on to her next challenge. If the bricks are all in her walker, then at least one must be removed and placed on the floor. The shape sorter must be at least one brick light and the bookshelf must be mostly empty. It is a very exact science and incorrect arrangements are not tolerated! I would love to know what her system is. Why is the moose ok in the bucket some days and the penguin not?

She is stirring and so I had better be there to give her warm awakening cuddles. I had better wake her daddy up too. Peace and quiet never lasts long in this house... but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Onwards

So time plods ever onwards. Ruby's first Christmas is over and a fine time was had by all.

The emotion of it all kicked in on Christmas Eve, just as I had thought it would. We took her to the crib service at the church fully equipped with various items to amuse her, none of which were required as she loved the whole thing. She charmed the choristers behind us with her beautiful smiles, she danced during the carols, waved at the nativity procession as it made its way past and held hands with her three year old cousin during the candle lit 'Away in a Manger' and 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' renditions at the altar (which brought inevitable tears from Mummy and Auntie Elaine and one of those moments you know you won't ever forget).

She loved putting wine, mince pies and carrots out for Father Christmas, although the reindeers nearly did not get the carrots as Ruby was intent on chomping them all herself!

She quickly got the hang of ripping wrapping paper off...

...and predictably found the boxes the most fascinating of items.

Once the packaging was all cleared away, she got on with the serious business of playing with her new toys and had a super time charging around the house.

We were touched by (and very grateful for) the number of gifts that Ruby received from friends and family near and far and thank-you letters will be winding their way in due course. She loved all the lights and excitement and was, as she always is, a star throughout it all.

A big Godsell family thank-you to everyone who helped to make her first Christmas so special.

In just fourteen days it will be her first birthday. I can hardly believe it. The thought of it makes me very emotional. She is growing up so fast.

Eve

Christmas Eve in the Godsell house. I sit and wonder how it happened. Where has the last year gone? I am thinking a lot about Christmas last year and how much things have changed. My brother and Claire were somewhere hundreds of miles away, Burma I think? I was heavily pregnant with Ruby, suffering Gestational Diabetes and unable to eat much other than carrots and sprouts for Christmas dinner. Ruby was busy preparing herself for her arrival in three weeks time and Nick and I were both nervous and very excited. It was hard to focus on Christmas at the time, my thoughts all revolved around Ruby and being ready for her. It seemed to pass in a bit of a haze for me, just something that happened three weeks before my due date really.

It will be very different this year. Last year it was very quiet, just Nick, Mum, a fidgety bump and I. This year we will be entertaining family and friends at various times throughout the day, there will be six for dinner and of course, there will be Ruby trotting about the place grinning from ear to ear, showing everyone her teeth, sharing kisses and exclaiming 'duck!' wherever she can.

I have found it difficult to feel the tingle of excitement this year, but I put that down to age. We are off to the church for the crib service this afternoon and meeting some good friends for lunch beforehand and I am sure that I will feel the flicker of butterflies then. Once the cooking starts later and Ruby, Nick and I put out something for Father Christmas and the reindeer before cosying up to sleep, then I am sure it will all kick in and the emotion of it all will take over. Nick will no doubt be in for some Mummy tears today!

Part of the problem seems to be that I am very focussed on making everything right this year. It is Ruby's first Christmas and I want everything to be wonderful for her. I have an idea in my head that I want our family traditions to be cased in stone from this year on. Nick keeps reassuring me that it is allowed to be different every year, but my brain does not seem able to accept that. Christmas when Dan and I were children always featured the same things, in the same order and it went a long way to making the day seem special to us. I want the same for Ruby. I want to have every detail planned and I want to make sure that the same thing happens next year, therefore what we do this year has to be right. I am sure that it will all change in the morning. With an eleven month old baby, you can not really make plans can you! So I am sure our family traditions will emerge and create themselves and will be all the better for it.

Whatever happens, I have a lovely husband and a beautiful daughter and they are all I need to make Christmas special this year. We are a family and whilst we are very happy that we will be sharing our day with others, the three of us are together and that is all that matters.

Fifteen Things I love about Ruby

1. Her smile. How her whole face lights up and even her ears smile. I love her laughs and her infectious giggles.
2. Her kisses. She kisses everything. She has a favourite book at the moment. She kisses the toy on each page and gives the biggest one to the baby on the last page. Her kisses for Mummy are my favourite ones though :)
3. Her crawling. So perfectly coordinated. How deliberately she places her hands as she goes.
4. Her cruising. She pulls herself up on any surface and does laps of the room, always pausing at her favourite places...the baby gate, the bookshelf, Mummy, Daddy...
5. Her tiny teeth. So small, so perfect (four at the current count)
6. Her determination. She just does not give up. If she is trying to do something, she works and works until she succeeds.
7. Her reading. I love to watch her lay on the floor reading a book that she has chosen from the shelf. She turns the pages so carefully and studies each page intently.
8. Her talking. She chats constantly. She obviously knows what she is saying even if we don't :) I love it when she looks at me and says 'Mama' or calls me when she wants cuddles.
9. Her growing independence. How she knows what she wants and doesn't want. How she picks things from her toy basket and throws them to one side when she does not want them, or sweeps things from her high chair tray when they are finished with. She has likes and dislikes and now knows how to demonstrate it.
10. Her confidence. She takes everything in her stride. Nothing seems to phase her. Whether it be teething, being poorly or a new social situation. She just gets on with it.
11. Her fluffy hair. She finally has enough to get bed hair in the mornings. It is so soft and seems to change colour daily.
12. The order in which she does things. (Which is always different to the books) She rolled back to front, long before front to back, she cruised before she sat, her teeth are coming in the wrong order... she does things in her own way which means we never know what to expect next :)
13. The back of her knees. My favourite bit at the moment.
14. Her kneeling. She prefers to kneel than sit on her bottom, although she now does both. She kneels, waves her arms in the air and claps whilst bouncing on her knees. This is always accompanied by a huge smile.
15. How happy she is when she finds a shape hidden in the compartment of her activity table. She takes is out and holds it triumphantly in the air whilst squealing with delight. Her face has a very sad frown when there is not one there. I loved her excitement and amusement when she found breadsticks in there instead of the expected shape the other day.
16. ...and of course, everything else :)

New

Ruby has a new game. There is a small compartment on her activity table, just the right size to hold one of her favourite shapes. Mummy hides a shape inside and Ruby 'finds' it. We have played this game several times, possibly several hundred times and every time she opens the lid and finds a shape nestled inside a huge smile crosses her face and she is very surprised! She then removes the shape either showing Mummy what she has found or throwing it to the floor in excitement. When she opens the lid and the box is empty there is much disappointment and she repeatedly closes and opens the lid again until she finds one.

She will go away and play with something else but checks in on the shapes as she goes...lifting the lid to see if there is anything there before moving on to the next game.

It just makes me smile.

Cruise

May I first begin with a huge thank-you to everyone who attended Ruby's christening last weekend. We extend a super-special thank-you to Claire for making such an amazingly beautiful dress. Cutting up my wedding dress seems a distant, painless memory now :) Seeing Ruby look so beautiful in it was a very special moment for me.

Having never been to a Christening before, I was unsure as to what would happen. Our vicar is like something from the Vicar of Dibley and she rushed through the service in her own special style but if you listened hard, the words did mean something. Ruby was an angel throughout, even giving the vicar her best smile when tipped upside down in the font. As usual, I was the proudest mum in the world. However, the problem with having a photographer husband is that everyone assumes Nick will take the pictures...this time wishing to be in them with his family, he was, quite-rightly, camera-less. As it would seem, were most other people, so our pictures of the day are minimal. (Many thanks to Amy for stepping in) We would appreciate any photographs from other guests too :) I am sure Nick will post a christening album on his Flickr (for those who can) at some point.

Ruby is now nine months old. When I last posted here, she had just discovered how to commando crawl and cut her first tooth. She now has two teeth and can whizz round the room on her hands and knees with ease. She is able to pull herself to standing on any surface and steadily makes her way wherever she wants to investigate. She can crawl, cruise, wave hello and goodbye and make decisions about what she wants and doesn't want, exerting more and more independence as time goes by. She still amazes me every day with her determination and marvellous sense of humour. She has finally decided that she will sit up, (having previously refused to do so, even though we knew she could) and she sits or kneels to play with perfect balance. I love to watch her learn about the world and relish in my 'just for mummy' smiles when she looks at me. I wait for her little arms to reach out to me and my heart races every time they do. She is simply amazing.

In amongst the christening fun, Nick and I also celebrated our second wedding anniversary. Thanks to my lovely husband for two fabulous years and one super-fabulous baby girl :)

Oh

...as the peroxide blonde child washed my hair in the salon this morning she asked (in that hairdresser way)...'Are you goin' aht tonight?' I replied 'No, we don't get out much with our eight month old'

Her reply?

'I suppose at your age, you have done it all already haven't you.'

This is the beginning of the end.

Ashes

Being the cricket fan that I am, the recent Ashes series filled me with excitement and despair in equal measure. I have watched as much of the series as a 7 month old newly mobile baby would allow and relished in the wonderful victory that was Freddie Flintoff's Test swansong. At times brilliant, at times truly dreadful, it was always difficult to call, particularly if you think back to the humiliating defeat at Headingly or the nail-biting draw of the first test. As a cricket fan you invest a lot of time into watching a test series. Your life is almost on temporary hold as you dare not miss a ball. So it feels like a personal reward when it all comes together. At the climax of the series, there was much elation and jubilation here and I revelled in such a superb victory over Ponting's men. It did not quite reach the dizzy heights of the 2005 Ashes win but I was truly joyous all the same.

Whilst I danced about the room, cheering, punching the air and believing that England had won as a personal thank-you to me for my commitment, Nick held Ruby at a safe distance and suddenly declared 'She has a tooth!' I rushed over had a look and sure enough, there in the bottom of her mouth was a small white lump. Ruby simply looked confused as Mummy and Daddy jumped up and down, laughing and hugging her and telephoning the respective grandmothers.

It was almost too much excitement for me to take! In amongst all the excitement of the cricket, Ruby had been quietly and with minimal fuss, growing her first tooth. Again she amazes me. She had not been grouchy or fussy. Like everything else she has done, she just quietly got on with it, preferring to relish the surprise on our faces when she presented the finished article. She is a truly fabulous baby and we are truly lucky parents.

Off

Ruby is now mobile. It is official. She is now off and going. Gone is the bottom up/face plant method in favour of a far more efficient commando style crawl. No longer can I put her down, pop to the kitchen and come back to find her where I left her. I spend half my day picking her up and putting her back to the start, having removed her from bookshelves, fireplaces, DVD players (and yes - ooh if I press this bit it moves!), sofas, toy boxes etc. She smiles, laughs and chatters away at everything she discovers. She learnt to commando crawl within the space of about ten minutes and it was fabulous to watch. She used her hands to get to her toys and within minutes her legs joined in and she was jolly chuffed with herself as she made her way further than she had ever done before. (The video is just her second attempt) Now, four days later she has it sorted. She is also up on her knees from time to time and rocking too - she knows it will help; she just isn't sure what needs to move first. Her intent to discover coupled with increased speed of crawling will be a very exciting, if tiring time for us all!

She is very excited by new foods too. She sits patiently in her high-chair and loves to play with the food on the tray. She loves strong cheese, spinach, yam, papaya, sweet potato, apple and cinnamon, cauliflower, yoghurt; everything we give her is met with interest and investigation. She feeds herself finger foods - rice cakes, pasta, fruit, vegetables and is able to sip from her Doidy Cup.

Another thing causing excitement is the discovery that she is able to make noise. She can press the button on the musical dog's nose, she can make the octopus sing, she can shake her maracas and bells and nudge the musical ball just enough to elicit a rendition of her favourite songs. She bangs various items on the wooden floor to see what sound they make and appears to make comparisons, opting for the loudest to continue playing with. She sings, and coos and gurgles. She coughs and hums and blows raspberries. She says Mama and Dada which makes my heart melt every time (even though I know she is not really saying Mama) and chatters constantly. She chuckles but also laughs, proper belly laughs that make her whole body shake with happiness. It is my favourite sound in the world.

It amazes me how much love she has to give. She loves to cuddle and be cuddled. She rolls the entire length of her playmat, puts her little arms around my neck and kisses me, (well, gums me but you know what I mean), she tucks herself under my chin and snuggles. Of all her toys, and she has many, her mum and dad are by far her favourite and she loves nothing more than laying on her mat looking into our eyes, touching our faces or having her tummy kissed.

...and she is of course, very much looking forward to the new football season, she has her Arsenal blanket at the ready and has practiced using her rattle! Let's hope for a better season at The Emirates!

Crawling

Ruby seems to be making new advances every day at the moment. Yesterday she accidentally ended up on her hands and knees; the look of shock on her face was fantastic. She has since been trying very hard to repeat it with limited success. Through this she has discovered how to move her legs as if to crawl. She face-plants regularly as she is yet to work out what to do with her arms, but nonetheless, she perseveres. She can now make her way across a room with this new limping foot projection/face-plant method or by repeatedly rolling and nothing is safe! Today she has found the TV table and all the joy that small silver, white and black boxes can bring. Yesterday it was underneath the sofa. The other day it was the plants by the fireplace and the bookcase. It must be amazing to have seen all these things from a distance for six months and then finally be able to discover them, touch them and find out what they are all about. The world must be such a fascinating place for her at the moment.

Brave

I am feeling very proud of myself this morning. On our last trip to the Health Visitor I was told 'In the next two weeks you need to allow her to sleep in her own room' I was understandably horrified and the look on my face clearly belied this as she followed it up with 'You will need to ask your partner for help, tell him that you will need support through this'. I knew it was coming. I had made several excuses as to why she shouldn't, all of which the HV had disputed and undoubtedly recognised as excuses.All week I had been preparing her, putting her to sleep in there during the day and watching the webcam closely. As I put her down to sleep last night I looked at her in her crib and realised that she had outgrown it, she couldn't move freely in there any more, not in the same way as she can tour her cot. So I decided to bite the proverbial bullet and go for it. We put her down in her own room, she fell asleep quickly and we went about our evening.

The tricky time for me was when we went to bed ourselves. Her little crib lay empty next to my side of the bed and the room seemed oddly quiet. I had placed the laptop by the bed so that the camera was on-hand should I have minor panics during the night (of which I had several) but I resisted the temptation to sweep her up and bring her back to the crib. Both Ruby and Nick slept soundly, and Ruby stayed sleeping for an hour longer than usual in fact. I am sure I will get used to not having her there, the same as I got used to her being there. I just missed her.

We captured this image from the webcam as she slept. Her blanket lays discarded at the foot of the cot and she seems oddly comfortable with her bottom in the air!

Rawhide

I apologise in advance for the content of most of this Summer's posts. I am going to make the most of the fact that I have a whole Summer with my beautiful girl and a platform where I can gush as much as I wish.

Today's gush is due to the fact that Ruby has now managed to work out that she can travel wherever she wishes to go by rolling. She mastered the turning from back to tummy a while ago, she has now caught up with flipping the other way and has been all over the floor this afternoon. So much so that she has actually fallen asleep on the playmat mid-roll . The delight on her face everytime she flips over is plain to see and she has been pausing only to smile, accept her praise then roll on again. She is a tenacious little thing and the days of our stationary baby are now gone. No longer will I be able to pop out of the room and find her where I left her on my return. She has so much mischief in her, I can see nothing but trouble on the horizon!

She has also decided to start dancing. When on her tummy she will rock from side to side with a huge beaming smile lighting up her face. Oddly though...it appears to matter not if there is actually music to be dancing to...perhaps there is music in her head...Oh God let's hope it isn't Girls Aloud!

Amazing

Ruby just did something amazing. Perhaps not amazing to you out there but to me, it was amazing. She played merrily on her mat until she spotted her teething keys just peeping out from underneath Farm Tails. She pulled herself over to the book, threw it to one side and picked up her keys! She knew what she wanted and she went to get it. She realised that they were underneath the book and had figured out that she needed to move it to get to them. As I said, probably not amazing to you out there but to me - amazing!

We went to the clinic today. She now weighs 12lb 9oz and has made it off the bottom line on the graphs, she is doing really well. It is such a relief after the previous worry about her weight. She seems to have a new favourite food today too, carrot. She could not get enough this afternoon! Her appetite seems to grow every day at the moment.

Six

Ruby was six months old on Friday. I can not quite believe it. Half a year has gone by since I held the tiny 5lb 9oz bundle in my arms for the first time. It seems like yesterday but at the same time, it feels like it was a whole lifetime ago. She is such a different little being now. She has a personality all of her own, things she likes, things she doesn't like. She rolls and creeps along the floor, she can press buttons on toys to make the music play and she can work really hard to reach something that she wants. She can eat solid food; she loves her baby rice, really quite enjoyed her first taste of sweet potato and pulled some fabulous faces when confronted with broccoli. She has outgrown her baby bath and now splashes in the full size one. She talks incessantly and laughs all the time. She loves to swim. She loves to pull her blanket over her head and play hide and seek, chuckling all the time she is hidden. She loves to read books and hear stories. She enjoys singing songs and has particular favourites (Five Little Men in a Flying Saucer, This Little Light of Mine and The Grand Old Duke of York to name just three) I watch her in amazement, her contented happiness is infectious and I could just stare at her for hours, taking in every ounce of her fascination with the world.

More new images here, including a rather fabulous short film entitled 'The Dummy'
We have a weight check with the Health Visitor tomorrow. Last weigh in was 6 weeks ago and she was 11lb 1oz. I hope she is still on track...fingers crossed!