The Speckled Goat

Pre-match nerves today. Man Utd v Arsenal in the Champions League this evening. Ruby has her Arsenal bib all clean and ready, Daddy has alternative entertainment arranged and Ruby and Mummy have a place booked on the sofa.

The Godsell household is an excited one at the moment. My lovely brother Danny and the equally lovely Claire are due back from their year long trip next week. Regular readers (!) will remember posts over the last year about how much I have missed them. I can not believe a year has passed and they are almost home. They are currently in Australia - planning on meeting relatives of ours that no home branch of the family have met before. I know my grandparents would love the idea of it, I hope they manage to co-ordinate and meet up. My excitement is an odd feeling, whilst I am counting the days until I can introduce them to their new neice and receive the obligatory donkey scrubs, I know that they do not want their trip to be over. Our happiness is their sadness and regret in some ways. However, they have much to look forward to when they return and although there will be a period of adjustment, the future is all theirs, they have an opportunity to take their lives in whichever direction they wish. Something few people get at our age! What a year it has been for all of us!

My mum came and visited at the weekend. She is a very excited bunny also as Dan and Claire plan on staying with her for a while when they return. When they left, her house was a building site. What a shock it will be to see it finished! It looks like a totally different house! Her excitement was obvious at the weekend and she was more positive than I have heard her in a long time. We took her for chips on the beach and she made us laugh hysterically as she tried to get as many people as possible to look at her as she held Ruby. Small shifts in position to ensure that Ruby was presented to all oncomers, had they not looked and smiled I think she would have started to leap out at people! It was a delight to watch her so happy holding her grand-daughter, her pride was obvious to everyone.

Right then, best get Ruby ready for baby massage class...Come on Arsenal!

Posted by Kary at 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ruby and I wanted to make the most of the weather today and decided on a stroll along the seafront, then a quick trip to town. We stopped in one of the little shops along the beach and bought her a shiny windmill for her pram, I was surpised by just how much she loved it! Her little face fixed on it the whole way along the promenade, smiling with fascination the whole time.

When I was pregnant, I pictured these early days with Ruby, I had a truly romantic view of this time. Today was one of those precious days that I had imagined. We did not do anything out of the ordinary but somehow it has just been perfect. We got up (later than usual) had a quick cuddle and breakfast before spending some time on the playmat. She battled hard to turn onto her side to reach her toys and even enjoyed her tummy time this morning, her little legs fighting to propel herself towards the toy in front of her. She tried to sit up, she tried to bite everything and she tried to play with all of her toys at once! We laughed, cooed and chatted and had a thoroughly great time. We then got dressed and took ourselves to the beach and a quick meander through the shops, before heading home for a nap (although she is refusing to sleep and is currently in her chair chewing on her dress and making very happy cooing noises in my direction). We will have a peaceful afternoon now, with a book and some quiet time before Daddy arrives home later. I feel warmly nostalgic for these days that I know will pass so quickly, the memory of each day already tinged with sepia in my mind. I love being with Ruby. I love the little personality that is just beginning to emerge. I love being her mum.

Another favourite photo. Nick and Ruby sharing her favourite book 'Lost and Found' by Oliver Jeffers. She smiles every time we read it. I think it is the penguin that she likes :)

Posted by Kary at 2:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night Ruby met Rosie. Rosie was the first thing that I bought for Ruby when I was pregnant. I waited until I was 26 weeks and the succumbed to the lovely little rag doll. We introduced them last night. Ruby's face lit up and she spent some considerable time bonding with her new friend. There was lots of smiling, cuddling and cooing before Rosie eventually ended up in Ruby's mouth. She is the first toy that Ruby has shown any real interest in and is clutching her tightly by her hair as I write. It made me strangely proud. I chose it for her such a long time ago and she loves it. :)

My lovely husband seems to have ceased to post photos of our baby girl on his blog and now posts them all on Ruby's own site - www.rhubarbpignut.blogspot.com

...as well as his Flickr account for those who can see it...

Posted by Kary at 1:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What a fine Easter weekend we have had. It all began with a lovely lunch out with friends on Good Friday - Ruby found it particularly hard to choose something from the menu...

Posted by Kary at 3:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Those who know me well will be aware of how major the thing I did this evening is.

I went to the petrol station.

I went alone.

I left Ruby with Nick and I went.

I got to the shop, I could not remember a thing I needed and then I rushed home again having forgotten half the things I went for. It felt very wrong to be without her. But I went.

Ruby was ok. Nick was ok. They were still in the same position on the bed, still smiling and gurgling at eachother. Nothing was any different in the six or so minutes I was away. But I did it.

...and I am very proud of myself too. Small steps. Progress.

Posted by Kary at 10:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here are three new photographs of Ruby that I just had to share...

I hope you can see why I had to share them :)

Posted by Kary at 9:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

...and now she sleeps. Vaccinations were as expected. She has been grizzly and in need of cuddles this afternoon. Even her normal bath did nothing to cheer her as it normally does. She has snuggled into bed and is sleeping now.

How hard it is to be eleven and a half weeks old.

Posted by Kary at 9:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Easter is upon us once again. The television if full of chocolate, bunnies and fluffy chicks. We have bought Ruby some Miffy books - she can not have chocolate but she can have bunnies!

We are off to the doctors this morning. Ruby has to have her second set of vaccinations. I am dreading it and my heart is as heavy as I have ever known it. I did not cope well with her first ones. You would think I would have been better after the blood tests and blood glucose tests that she had to have in the hospital in her first few days but I hated the fact that I held her as someone hurt her. Tears flooded from both of us. She had stopped and was kicking her legs in excitement over her pram book long before I had calmed down and was able to get on with the day. I suspect today may be the same. I know it is the right thing to do, I know it is to protect her - but I just hate it. She is sitting in her chair next to me as I type, smiling and chattering to me. She has no idea where she is going this morning :(

Motherhood brings so many new challenges. I was walking with a new friend yesterday who said that she could not hold her baby whilst they did it - the nurse had to hold her. I can totally understand how she felt but I could not do that to Ruby, she will be in pain, no matter how brief. She needs her mummy.

So. Best go get ready. I built this up to be something huge last time, I was so worried about her. When I left the doctors I felt it was every bit as bad as I had feared. I hope I cope better this time :(

Posted by Kary at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here we are at ten (and a bit) weeks. I can not believe it is only ten weeks, I feel like Ruby has been with me forever. I am enjoying motherhood very much. Ruby and I have settled into a routine and it suits us very well.

She changes every day and whilst that makes me sad, I also delight in watching her progress. We are very fortunate that she is a good baby. She only squeaks when she wants something and (touch wood) we are not suffering prolonged bouts of crying. She is always smiling and when she does so she smiles with her entire being, even her ears smile! She loves to look at books, to hear me sing (poor child) and to lay on her changing mat bathing in the sunshine from the window. She likes to chat to me and we have long conversations full of coos and gurgles and excited oohs and aahs. Although she is still small for her age, she is getting bigger every day and is now 8 and a half pounds! I love the look of surprise when passers by ask me how old she is, expecting me to say a few days and being told 10 weeks!

We booked her christening last week and it was only then that I realised I have never been to a christening and have no idea what it entails. The vicar sent us a leaflet and I was suprised how short the ceremony is. We have gone for an October service as Nick was christened on the 19th October, we were married on the 20th October some 33 years later and now Ruby will be christened on the 18th, all at the same church. The leaves will be their beautiful golden colours just as they were on our wedding day and I hope for similar sunshine on the day too. I had hoped to have her christening gown made from my wedding dress but there is not a way it can be done and leave my dress intact so I am looking forward to searching out a beautiful gown for her closer to the time. It is as exciting as choosing my wedding dress!

Having Ruby has changed everything for us, all for the better and one thing worth mentioning is how great some of our friends have been. Several of our friends do not have children and we thought that our time with them would be very limited after Ruby was born but they have been just so fantastic. They have not made a big performance of it, but have just subtly shifted what we do together. Instead of always heading out for a beer (or several) we have been invited over for nights in; instead of going out for dinner, we have been invited out for lunch, and Ruby is always welcome. I feel very lucky to have them as friends and will always be grateful for their support, patience and understanding. Thanks Wayne, Tracie, Steve, Donna, Keith and Jen. Thank you also to Matt and Mary for their offers of shopping and takeaway pizza in the early days after she was born. You are all stars!

As I have written this, she has laid asleep in my arms. She is toasty warm and has periodically made very contented noises and snuggled into my shoulder. She smells of babies, that beautiful unmistakable scent and is breathing soft, warm breaths into my ear. I really am the luckiest person in the world. A great husband, my beautiful girl, a wonderful family and some brilliant friends.

...and soon enough my lovely brother will be home too! Not cheery for him, but everso cheery for us!

Donna, Ruby and Steve

Posted by Kary at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)