Those who know me well will be aware of how major the thing I did this evening is.

I went to the petrol station.

I went alone.

I left Ruby with Nick and I went.

I got to the shop, I could not remember a thing I needed and then I rushed home again having forgotten half the things I went for. It felt very wrong to be without her. But I went.

Ruby was ok. Nick was ok. They were still in the same position on the bed, still smiling and gurgling at eachother. Nothing was any different in the six or so minutes I was away. But I did it.

...and I am very proud of myself too. Small steps. Progress.