Easter is upon us once again. The television if full of chocolate, bunnies and fluffy chicks. We have bought Ruby some Miffy books - she can not have chocolate but she can have bunnies!

We are off to the doctors this morning. Ruby has to have her second set of vaccinations. I am dreading it and my heart is as heavy as I have ever known it. I did not cope well with her first ones. You would think I would have been better after the blood tests and blood glucose tests that she had to have in the hospital in her first few days but I hated the fact that I held her as someone hurt her. Tears flooded from both of us. She had stopped and was kicking her legs in excitement over her pram book long before I had calmed down and was able to get on with the day. I suspect today may be the same. I know it is the right thing to do, I know it is to protect her - but I just hate it. She is sitting in her chair next to me as I type, smiling and chattering to me. She has no idea where she is going this morning :(

Motherhood brings so many new challenges. I was walking with a new friend yesterday who said that she could not hold her baby whilst they did it - the nurse had to hold her. I can totally understand how she felt but I could not do that to Ruby, she will be in pain, no matter how brief. She needs her mummy.

So. Best go get ready. I built this up to be something huge last time, I was so worried about her. When I left the doctors I felt it was every bit as bad as I had feared. I hope I cope better this time :(